


The turmoil of ideals

by Dylina



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Emotional, Friendship, Ideals, M/M, Relationship(s), Tea, Verdent Wind, claurenz, ferdibert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:55:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26319769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dylina/pseuds/Dylina
Summary: Two friends, Ferdinand and Lorenz, have a frank and honest discussion about the route they have chosen to follow, (Verdant Wind), ideals and relationships.Come and chat at @Infiniteambigu1Or chat on here about what you think about the different dilemmas facing characters when they chose a particular route.
Kudos: 6
Collections: Lorenz Week 2020





	The turmoil of ideals

"It is comforting to have tea with you again." Lorenz generously poured more tea into Ferdinand's cup, almost willing him to drink more and stay longer. Their faces mirror each other's with warm smiles and starry eyes. " I feared that your loyalty and love for Adrestia would mean we would cross blades. " Lorenz briefly frowned as he envisioned them on horse back facing one another with battered armour and well used lances. Ferdinand reached over with a handkerchief and pretended to wipe the frown from his lips, before tracing the outline of a smile. 

"I feel exactly the same. I feared that your father would force you to fight for the Empire, to fight for a cause you do not believe in. I find the fact that you came back to the monastery and decided to step out of your father's shadow admirable. Now you are here supporting Claude, advising and encouraging him. You are truly helping Fodlan become a better place." Ferdinand sipped on the rose petal blend, indulging himself in the delicate pallet of flavours Lorenz has skilfully concocted. In a way they were tea soul mates. They always knew the perfect tea to brew to soothe the other. Tea was not just poured, it was played like a musical instrument creating a beautiful harmony of flavours. 

Whenever his father was mentioned Lorenz could not stop the tension building inside. His shoulders would ache from hunching up and his chest would tighten, an invisible noose was permanently tied around his neck and the spectre of his father refused to release him. "Edelgard's wants to admonish the nobility without offering an alternative, I find that unsettling. She claims she wants to rid the nobility of corruption. It seems that she is only interested in self-serving and corrupt noble when they go against her wishes. I believe there needs to be a new system evaluating nobles and holding them to account. To abolish them completely is short sighted." Lorenz took a few delicate sips, soothing himself.

"I agree, without the vigorous training and high expectations of nobles where will the knowledge to govern come from? Is she planning a new system of education extended to commoners? I might be interested in her dreams if she suggested something like that. To be honest I do not think she knows herself. It is like she has tunnel vision and can only see violence. She is piling up the corpses of innocent civilians for her self righteous beliefs. She does not care about the wishes of the people. To her civilians are expendable." Ferdinand rested the cup neatly on the saucer. A hand extended to Lorenz and enveloped his tense fingers in friendly palms. "We will be good nobles and protect the people. Starvation, homelessness, orphaned children, broken families and destroyed livelihoods; can she justify all the suffering for her ideals?" Ferdinand sounded angry as he recalled the ravished villages and terrified civilians he had met as he struggled to survive for five years in Aegir territory with a small battalion of trusted and loyal soldiers. He had nearly perished in those dark days. 

Lorenz gazed into beautiful honeycomb eyes, two suns faceted by bees to shine perfectly. Ferdinand always did have the loveliest of eyes. "I do not believe she is a heartless warmonger. She has a vision of the world she believes will be better for everyone. Real change is sometimes only possible with the spilling of blood. There will always be opposition to change no matter how beneficial it could be. Change will always bring uncertainty. Vision and reality rarely align themselves perfectly."

Ferdinand gazed back into Lorenz's hopeful amethyst eyes, always pretty and sparkly like jewels. "How sage of you Lorenz. To look past her deeds and judge her ideals is true intelligence." He brought Lorenz's hands towards his cheek and rested upon it. "I know Adrestria must fall. I feel like I have betrayed her, Adrestria I mean, my homeland, the land with a long and proud history. Adrestria was my first love. My favourite opera's told the stories of her history. I cannot help but feel empty at the thought of her demise. "

Lorenz gave Ferdinand's hand a comforting squeeze. "I understand your feelings of loyalty and regret. The Adrestrian Empire was great and her story will still be told. We have to fill the emptiness of our hearts with hopes for an enlightened and prosperous future for all of Fodlan. I feel like I have betrayed my father. I am keeping secrets from him and going behind his back by scheming and planning with Claude. Will he ever forgive me? Do I need his forgiveness if I believe what I am doing is noble and good? The commonfolk need to be put first. We can't place the burden of war upon them. I feel guilty keeping secrets from my mother. She was always kind, if a little overbearing at times. Oh sorry I have been selfish talking about my family when the safety of yours is uncertain."

Ferdinand pressed a kiss onto each of his knuckle. "Of course I worry about my family. Just because of my concerns, it should not mean that you cannot talk about your family. Part of me accepts that my father could be sacrificed at any time. He was not a good ruler, greedy and cruel. It is my duty to try and save him if I can, my duty as a good son. I cannot help but wonder if it was my duty to serve Adrestria, serve Edelgard's and try and guide her to the light?"

Lorenz leant forward and brushed their noses together tenderly. "My dear Ferdinand, we are burdened by duties which conflict with each other. It is my duty, as son and heir to respect my father's wishes. It is also my duty to try and do good and create a better world for the commonfolk. I believe following Claude's vision will achieve that despite my father's hatred for him. You are conflicted with loyalty for the Empire and your desire to follow the right path. It is a case of evaluating the duties and making difficult choices."

Ferdinand let go of his hand and leaned back in his chair as a helpless sigh was exhaled. "I added further complications. I fucked Hubert."

Lorenz was stunned, so stunned that he nearly spat out a mouthful of tea. With wide eyes he stared in disbelief. "You did what?"

Ferdinand buried his head in his hands. His feelings were in turmoil, regret, guilt and confusion. If he wasn't careful he could drown in those emotions and wallow in the undertow of depression. Yet his eternal optimism and determination kept him afloat no matter how tough the tide of emotions he had to sail through. "It was angry sex, rough, angry, violent but beautiful sex. We rolled around in the hay of one of the stables, desperately crawling each other's clothing off like rampant beasts. I pounded into him so hard that he made moans for my ears alone. It was the night before the attack on the Holy Mausoleum. " He shook his head as he fought back a few sad droplets. "Do you think he was trying to manipulate me to join Edelgard? 

Lorenz abandoned his seat to comfort his friend. He wrapped his arms around him and held him to his heart. Comforting fingertips brushed through his hair as he pressed kisses upon his forehead. "I guess you will never know the answer. It is best to avoid speculation as it will only cause harm. Consider what the sex meant for you. The meaning of the sex to you is all that matters"

Ferdinand let the embrace envelope him in tenderness and care. He needed every crumb of comfort in these testing times. "I had started to fall for him Lorenz. Should I have let love interfere for my ideals? Love is such a hard thing to find. Some spend their whole life never finding the one. I could have found the love that so many seek and then I throw it away, for what?."

Lorenz sighed softly into his hair. "That is a rhetorical question. We have made our choices and we must stand by them. I have always accepted that I may have to sacrifice love for the greater good of house Gloucester. Love is such a hard thing to sacrifice. The heart can suffer so."

Ferdinand nodded as the breeze drifted through his hair to the back of his neck. Deep down he knew that there would be no opportunity to spare Hubert and Edelgard. They would both live and die for their beliefs. It made them tragic figures, glory or death. If they lost then they would be demonized for eternity. People would go past their graves and spit upon them. If Hubert died before him he would leave flowers upon his grave. The flowers would not be just for Hubert but for the Adrestrian Empire he loved so dearly. "I love the nobility but at times it is a heartaching toil." 

They both fell quiet for a while, finding comfort in the embrace of one another. With eyes closed they hugged tightly, as though friendship was the only certainty in the war and the only thing they could cling on to. "I have a secret to share as well. A secret which must never cross your lips. I dread to consider the consequences if it was known. There would be army of assassins after my head sent by my father." Lorenz woefully laughed as he thought of the burden of nobility. He was a stud horse expected to sire an heir and marry an appropriate lady. Alas his heart belonged to someone highly inappropriate . "I have been ....... with Khal...Claude."

Ferdinand gasped as he heard the secret. It was unimaginable, absolutely unbelievable, Lorenz used to complain about Claude for hours. One of the longest rants was when Lorenz had discovered a bottle of one of Claude's stomach potions in a bush. Lorenz had given it to the Professor before he pursued Claude and gave him a lecture about responsible storage of dangerous chemicals. "Of course your secret is safe with me. But how? How did the unlikely relationship happen?" Ferdinand felt touched that Lorenz had shared such a dangerous secret with him. It was a sign of true friendship and trust. 

"It was the night of the ball. I craved serenity amidst the chaos. Some nobles were waving their masculinity around like a banner. Honestly I grew tired of it. " Lorenz frowned as he remembered how outrageously Sylvain had strutted around, declaring love for numerous ladies. "I escaped to the Goddess Tower. I was admiring the view from the window when I heard footsteps approaching. When I turned it was Claude standing just a breath away from me. I was about to question him in an accusing fashion about his presence in the Goddess Tower when he completely disarmed me. He said to me 'I have always wanted to make you smile. I have spent time spying on you, trying to figure out the wonderful mysteries you hide. I have come to a conclusion.' My mouth hung open in astonishment. He closed the distance between us within the blink of an eyes. I could feel his breath on my lips. I could taste coffee and rich spices on his breath. His warm hands stroked my cheek and combed through my hair before he kissed me hard, so hard he smashed my senses into submission. All my defences were wrecked. The kiss seemed to last eternally but not long enough. I do not recall how long the kissing lasted. We were literally devouring each other. We would have continued if it wasn't for someone else entering the tower."

Ferdinand still couldn't recover from the shock. His shock was only increased by how romantic their union was. He was envious of Lorenz a little. He would never have the opportunity to experience something like that with Hubert. His first two true loves were destined to perish, Hubert and Adrestria. Lorenz could still have a future with Claude. There must be a way for Lorenz to fulfil his noble duty and stay with Claude "I am happy you are able to find love amidst the horror of war. Cherish what you have, never let it go. Your smile lights up the world."

Lorenz smiled, feeling warmed by Ferdinand's kind words. "You may feel hollow now dear Ferdinand but one day a new love and a new adventure will fill the hole inside you. It may not feel like it now but the light will find you. You deserve only good things my dear friend. I promise to help you anyway I can."

With that they both smiled at each other, an unbreakable bond established and strengthen. No matter how hard life was, friendship could heal the deepest wounds.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. If you want to request a rarepair or prompt then come and chat to me on twitter.


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